Am I really beautiful?

Lately on the internet, a viral video has cascaded social media. It's called "The Power of Makeup".
The woman who uploaded the video, brings up makeup shaming and basically flushes it down the toilet. She said she feels as though makeup is only worn by people who are self conscious, slutty, or do it to impress others, while really, makeup is just another form of expression.
                                        And I happen to completely agree with her.
She proceeds to do half of her face completely glam makeup, and the other with no makeup at all, and shows how much of a difference it makes and ya di ya dah. That's not the point.
I started wearing makeup at a really young age. Maybe 8 or 9, and I have to admit, it looked pretty horrible. I smudged on some blue and black eyeshadow and wore bright lipstick, which made me feel fantastic. I felt totally confident, I felt beautiful, it was like I was on top of the world. It was one of my first steps of really getting closer to being a big girl. And I loved it.  Others around me, not so much. I would get nasty comments like, "Wow, did someone draw all over your face again?", and "You look like a hooker". And just the fact that society associates a lot of makeup with the label "hooker", astonishes me. But just as I had the comfort of feeling good about myself, I felt like those who were closest to me were tearing me apart. I didn't know that it looked bad, much less that my friends and family, and the adults in my life would react like that. No little girl should have to be told that she looks like a hooker. No one. My self esteem plummeted after that. After constantly hearing things about my appearance, the way I looked, the things I wore, so after a lot of long talks with my Mom and a whole lot of self shame and crying, I decided I wasn't going to wear makeup. I didn't wear again until I was about 11? I was going to my best friends birthday party. I had just bought a pretty new dress from target, My friend was turning 12, and I wanted to look super special. So I slipped on my dress, and dug out some of my old makeup. I took a really thin nail art brush, and put just a tiny bit of dark gray eyeshadow close to my lashline. I was worried and anxious, that I would get the same reaction as I did when I was younger. I went downstairs to my parents, with my hands covering up my eyes. My parents were sitting in the living room on the couch, waiting for my stressed out 'I'm ready to go now' cue. When I arrived to the couch I said,
"Mom, Dad, I tried something new today, and if you don't like it I'll take it off okay".
I revealed my new look, and both my mom and dad struggled to see the difference in my appearance, as I was reluctant to put on a lot of makeup.
"That looks great, Cc".
A wave of relief ran through me. There was no negativity in their response, they weren't going to tell me I looked like a hooker or anything like that. I was so excited and from then on, I started wearing makeup again. Every morning after I did my makeup, I would rush to my mom's bathroom where she was getting ready for the day, and I always asked for her approval and feedback. She didn't tell me I had to, I just felt like there was a need to. It made me feel confident walking into school knowing that my mom didn't think I was wearing too much makeup. That I looked beautiful. But as time went on, makeup became my undercover cover up. Makeup wasn't just for fun or too express myself, I was secretly using it to cover up my insecurities about my appearance without even realising it. It came to the point where I wouldn't walk out of the house with out a full face of makeup on. And I can't say much has changed since then. But it was just recently that I discovered those insecurities.
I went to a teen retreat for 2 days. A bunch of other teens from my school came, and we were to spend the weekend out in the woods together. I was first with the group, and realised I had to get something from  my cabin. I can't remember what it was, but as I was searching through my suitcase, I did a quick double check to make sure that I had everything I needed for the weekend. Pj's, check. Extra pair of jeans, check. Makeup bag- uh oh, makeup bag. It was nowhere to be found, I anxiously searched again, hoping it would magically reappear, but my panicky self realised it wasn't going to.
My heart started racing, and everything got slower. I sat there on my bunk bed, in shock. What was I going to do with out my security? I didn't want to show my bare face to everyone. What would they think of me? Maybe this time they'll tell me that they couldn't recognise me without makeup. I took a minute, and came to the conclusion that maybe my friend... Let's call her Martha, would have some makeup she would be willing to share with me. The next day, I talked with Martha, and she said she had some powder and mascara to share with me. Luckily Martha and I have a very similar skin tone. I put on a little bit of powder, that really did nothing besides make the little circles under my eyes look a little less dark, and mascara. And even with that tiny amount of makeup, I still didn't really feel happy in my own skin. During the trip, another friend of mine, even said to me as I was getting ready,
"Can we go to breakfast now? You've been sitting here for ten minutes how much mascara can you put on?". Which didn't really help, but you know. I was struggling.  And it was after that weekend I realised how much I used makeup to conceal myself. So I started wearing less and less. I made an active decision to gradually wear less makeup, until I felt comfortable with me. Until I could look in the mirror at myself with a completely bare face and tell myself,
"I am Beautiful".
And mean it. And to be completely honest, I'm still on the way there. But I guess that video was just another sub- conscious excuse for me to feel bad about myself. It was a way for me to almost, blame society for my lack of confidence. An excuse. But now, I'm slowly discovering, that maybe I'm beautiful, no matter how much makeup (or lack thereof) I'm wearing. I just had to be forced to be in a situation without it. So I guess what I'm saying is,
   Everyone is beautiful, big or small, short or tall, black or white, freckles, or no freckles, acne or no acne, whatever you look like, you are beautiful. And everyone deserves to feel that way.